When a couple in Austin, Round Rock, Cedar Park, Georgetown or San Marcos has children and is divorcing, the process of dissolving the marriage can be much more complex than if there are no kids involved. It is important to keep the divorce as amicable as possible when there are shared children in order to significantly reduce the stress on young kids.
A family law attorney can help couples try to find compromising approaches to resolve the issues involved in a divorce so they can avoid litigation and help make the divorce easier for all parties. When parents work together to divide custody and assets and to make other decisions necessary to end the marriage, this helps make the transition much simpler and the lack of hostility can have big benefits for children affected by the end of the marriage.
Avoid This Common Divorce Mistake if You Have Kids
The Huffington Post recently reported that many couples make mistakes when they have children and are getting a divorce. The big mistake is in the way in which the couple relates to each other both when telling the kids about the end of the marriage and when going through the process of dissolving the union.
When parents sit down and tell children that they are ending a marriage, the conversation is “one of the most emotionally significant conversations they’ll ever have.” Younger children tend to notice many different things that adults take for granted, so even when parents sit down together to tell their kids about the divorce, children will notice any signs of hostility. The conversation that the parents have, and the way in which the children observe their parents during the conversation, can help to shape how children view relationships and love as they grow up.
Telling the children together is usually a better approach than telling the child separately. Parents should also refrain from coming right out and saying they do not love each other any more, as this can be damaging to a child. Even if parents do not say these words, however, the Huffington Post warns that they often give off signals that communicate this message loud and clear.
Some of the different ways that kids can detect hostility include parents expressing coldness to each other, parents sitting far apart, and parents engaging in subtle signs that they are feeling angry toward each other. While it can be hard to mask feelings of anger, especially in cases where there may have been infidelity or abuse, kids should not see these types of interactions among their parents because it can shape their worldview in adverse ways.
Parents are encouraged to try to see each other as vulnerable people who are hurting because of the transition, and help each other to grow. When parents are able to find the positive or at least recognize that the other spouse is not bad or evil, they can make the divorce process less upsetting to kids.
Avoiding divorce litigation and working through a mediator or negotiating a divorce settlement with the help of an attorney can help to keep the positive relationship throughout the process of ending the marriage so kids can continue to feel that they have a strong and loving family unit.
Contact Bertolino LLP at 512-717-5432 to schedule a consultation with an Austin, TX divorce lawyer today. Serving Austin and surrounding suburbs including Round Rock, Cedar Park, Georgetown and San Marcos.