Getting a divorce can be a stressful experience, especially if only one spouse wants to end the marriage. As a recent article on Psych Central explained, it is essential for the person who wants the divorce to be honest and upfront with his or her spouse and to be clear about all intentions. Trying to be too nice or sending mixed signals can be harmful for all parties involved.
One of the best ways to ensure that your divorce goes smoothly and your partner understands your intentions is to consult with a divorce lawyer as early as possible after you have decided you do not wish to be married. Your attorney can advise you on your legal options and help you to file for divorce so that the process of ending your marriage can move swiftly and effectively through the legal system.
The Importance of Clarity When You Are Ending a Marriage
Sending mixed signals when you have decided you want your marriage to end can be very damaging to the other party. The article gives the example of a woman who wants a divorce and who brings it up to her spouse without warning and then proceeds to have intercourse with her spouse when he becomes upset at her announcement. The woman in the example reportedly acted out of guilt because she felt badly for wanting the marriage to end. Unfortunately, this only ended up with husband being hurt worse because he did not have a clear picture of what the future would bring.
Both men and women who decide to end their marriage may sometimes feel guilt, especially if they have simply fallen out of love. This can result in the person who wants the divorce making an extra effort to be "nice" to the other spouse. In reality, no one should feel guilty about not wanting to stay married as divorce is very common and everyone deserves to be in a fulfilling relationship that meets their needs. While you can and should aim for an amicable divorce, you do not need to be too nice to the point where mixed messages are sent or your spouse is given false hope.
It is also essential to ensure that you are not so nice to your spouse that you give up your legal rights during the divorce process. The law is clear on how property and assets should be divided and you should ensure that you get your fair share of marital assets even in a situation where you come to an agreement outside of court on how to split property. Your attorney can help you to keep emotions out of the divorce process, including both guilt and anger.
Whether you initiated the divorce or your spouse was the one who decided that it was time to end the marriage, it is best for everyone if there are no mixed messages and if the divorce moves as quickly as possible so all parties can begin to move on with their new lives.
Contact Bertolino LLP at 800-210-0126 to schedule a consultation with a divorce lawyer today.